What's Cookin

5. To the Guy Who Loves Me Most: My Dad

2008-07-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

Ready for your interview Dad?
Knock it out, kid

1. Favorite Candy?
MNM Peanuts because Mom always gets them or Reses Crunch Bar
2. Most Missed Part of Childhood?
The rare times all my 6 of my family was together and actually got along. Has to be less that 6 times.
3. Who was your first love?
Liz Lenky (aka Teets) because other girls were dingy and just wanted to go to the basketball games but we had convos about a lot of things
4. What is your favorite part about Mom?
Her unconditional love.
5. Favorite pet you ever had?
Lukie or Cookie, but Cookie was my brother’s dog.

6. Do you dream in color or black and white?
Color
7. What do you look forwatd to most in retirement?
The absence of stress in day to day life that he encounters in running a business
8. What would be your absolute dream job if money meant nothing?
To play in a band and be a singer (if only I had talent)
9. What is your favorite movie?
Iron Man (currently)
10. What do you wish for your children in their future?
To be satisfied with all their accomplishments in life and to be happy with whatever they do but do something!

11. What was the best era of your lifetime?
My high school years because I was free, enjoying my dads cars & tickets to games, and no responsibility.
12. Who do you hope to meet in heaven?
Charelton Heston
13. Describe your style.
Outgoing, somewhat complicated, a ring leader.
14. What is your favorite part of the house that mom designed and decorated?
The family room because it is where all the convos are.
15. What are you most proud of in your life?
My kids; happy that they have goals and are serious about succeeding and have drive and make 85% of the right decisions.

16. Any regrets?
Many. I wish I had gone to college atleast to experience it. Wish I hadn’t done some of the things I have done. I wish I hadn’t made some bad choices and tried to be better person but I am getting to the point where I am happy with who I am today.
17. What is your favorite saying/motto?
“Doesn’t blow my skirt up” or “McFly”(for people who are acting stupid) or “Live fast, Die hard” or “Work hard, Play hard”
18. Who are your heroes/ role models?
Donald Trump, or people who do well in business, Lee I Ococa, who took over Chrystler when it was about to fail, and Bill Gates.
19. Who had the biggest impact on your life?
My Dad when I was younger I got a lot of substance from him and some good insight. From my grandpa I learned things not to do in life.
20. What was the first thing you notice about Mom?
Her @$$
21. Describe your perfect day.
Start out getting in my private jet and going to a private island and putting my toes in the sand with a cocktail. Then I would hop on a boat where the water is perfect so I can water ski all day and then come home and make love to my wife.

4. A Friend I Am Proud To Call Mine: Nick

2008-07-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

1. What do you find comfort in?
Smoking cigarettes and biting my nails.
2. What is your favorite hour of the day?
Anytime I wake up early and I know I have the rest of the day.
3. What is the first thing you always notice about people you have just met?
Their awkwardness or lack of awkwardness.
4. Have you ever had a life-changing event happen to you?
Yea I guess. Cutting my hair and getting away from the whole scene.
5. What do you like about being in a band?
The attention. People go to your shows to see you and they're not there because they don’t want to be.

6. If you could turn into an animal which one would it be?
An octopus because they don’t have any bones.
7. What do you think about horoscopes?
They are bull shit. I don’t believe in destiny.
8. If you could adapt a more feminine quality into your personality, which trait would you choose?
I guess to be able to think like a girl, sometimes I just can't understand why they have to be so hard to deal with.
9. Have you ever thought you were going to die?
Nu uh.
10. What is the most intense dream that you ever remember having?
I don’t remember but lately ive been having lots of dreams with girls in it. Like everynight it is a different girl and we always go on different dates and whenever I kiss them it feels like the most intense part of the night. It reminds me of how high school dating used to be.

(a digital picture nick made 2 years ago of me and Sam)

11. What scares you most about the future?
If I am going to be able to have a solid income, if i'm going to be able to live better than my parents did, if im going to be able to give my kids more.
12. What excites you most about it?
That I know ill be able to give my kids more and do better than my parents.
13. What do you think of when you hear the word love?
Old age. Love is for old people.
14. What is your most valued material object you possess?
I don’t really have any thing.
15. Do you try to send any messages out through your art?
Yea subtly. I don’t make it obvious so people can tell right away and I don’t tell people either. I like to make people guess and even when they get the message right I tell them they're wrong.

16. What is your favorite thing to do in the whole entire world?
Hmmm play drums, draw, and meet new people through common grounds.
17. If you could hop on a plane and go anywhere right now where would you go?
Japan.
18. What is the last thing that you purchased?
Ciggarettes.
19. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
That I really started not caring what I say people and probably that I do have an open mind and don’t judge people.
20. Do you think you want kids someday?
Yea. I want twins.
21. Describe your perfect day.
Probably wake up around 9 and have breakfast with somebody and then go to the gym on time and after a good work out and eat sushi for lunch and for the rest of the day just play video games with friends and have a bbq and go swimming. And then ill have a show that night too and everybody will go to it. And then fucked up after the show for the rest of the night.

3. My Original Faxon Place Friend: Robby

2008-07-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

1. How would you describe your family?
That is such a ridiculous question but I guess they are really fun people. We interact more in humor than actual close relationship.
2. What is your favorite word (in any language)?
I don’t really have a favorite word but I will have a word stuck in my head all day and I wont know where I heard it or what it means so I have to look it up. Example: Debauchery I had stuck in my head for 3 days. It turned out to mean something sexual and deviant. Inappropriate ha-ha. Don’t know where it came from.
3. If you could say something that everyone in the world would hear, what would it be?
Without question it would have to be something about peace I just don’t know exactly what it would be. Something that could give everyone a common ground because in real life it would be impossible to give everyone a message because of how much propaganda and twisting there is in this world.
4. What is your favorite characteristic in a friend?
My first inkling would be the same sense of humor as me but it is probably more deep that that.
5. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Lets see that would make me 29. I don’t know I see myself in my prime. Steady well paying job as some form of an aeronautical engineer doing something innovative obviously married celebrating an anniversary of probably 5 years. Visiting my family a lot and having big gatherings with my brother and cousins and our family.

6. What is something most people don’t know about you?
Probably that I think and care about people more than they think I do and that I have a tendency to not show how I feel. I just hope that is not how deep people think I go.
7. What grosses you out most?
Smoking anything really grosses me out and watching surgery/ real life gore.
8. Favorite store to shop at?
Easy. Sports Chalet. I’m obsessed with survival equipment, air soft guns, and snowboarding gear.
9. If you could take a vacation anywhere right now where would you go?
I really want to go to the Virgin Islands or someplace tropical but at the same time I want to travel to a place like Europe or Australia.
10. What is your favorite flower?
That’s hard because I don’t really know the name of many flowers. I like Bird of paradise. They are pretty but they also remind me of Disneyland. As far as favorite smelling I would have to go with white gardenia and for best combination I would definitely say pink roses with lilies.

11. Who are the three people you want to meet in heaven?
There are the people who I would want to see just to see if they got to heaven but besides them, Jesus first and foremost (I hate to be cliché but there is nothing cliché about Jesus), Vince Budmark, and Marlon Brando because I think he had a lot going on in his head.
12. What do you wake up to each morning?
My terrible alarm clock that scares the shit out of me.
13. Close your eyes. Tell me what you see.
I saw Kristine for a second. I also saw a really long hallway of marble white pillars. The third thing I saw was of a dream I had last night of working at a sawmill with my uncle making boat.
14. What is your biggest obsession?
Excelling in everything.
15. What are your favorite things about living in Arizona?
I love that it is a small town feel even though it’s not super small. It’s a really outdoorsy and there is a lot of stuff to do outside. And it snows in the winter. The air is clean. There is very little traffic and no such thing as rush hour.

16. Give me your thoughts on plastic surgery.
I think it is really important for a lot of people who have deformities or people that have had major changes in their appearance from injury or sickness. Of course the gray area is the people who want to improve themselves but have nothing wrong with them. I have no problem with responsible people getting it but the majority of people get breast implants and those aren’t really responsible adults because that is pretty significant surgery. Surgery to me should be a last resort.
17. What is your favorite country?
Part of me wants to say the United States because I don’t know if I would really live anywhere else. There are definitely some innovative countries in Europe and Scandinavia and places that have either health care or green living down better than the us but I think the United States is still the most well rounded.
18. Do you have a secret indulgence?
I don’t really indulge in much. I don’t think anything that would be considered an indulgence for me would be a secret. There isn’t anything I do by myself I would consider an indulgence except for certain TV shows that I watch by myself… like Project Runway. Ha-ha that would DEFINITELY be a secret indulgence.
19. Where do you go when the world gets too hard and you need to get away?
Into nature. I don’t do it very often but it really does humble you. Especially when you are at some place really magnificent.
20. What is your ritual when you get sick?
Hmm If is not something I am familiar with I research it to no end on the computer. Usually I don’t take it too seriously or worry too much. And usually I treat it really rationally.
21. Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day I would say definitely spending it with family or friends. Do something fun and active. Playing air soft with my brother and cousin and friends. For the evening sitting with Kristine in her balcony on her apartment drinking wine and eating port wine cheese with crackers and watching the sunset. And some really passionate love making to finish of the night.

2. The Keeper of my Heart: Sam

2008-07-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

1. Who did you want to be like when you were growing up (fiction or real)?
I don’t think I had anyone specifically but I mean there were a lot of people depending on what stage I was in and what I liked at the time. I mean everyone from Michael Jordan to Joe Satriani(famous guitarist).
2. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
Haha these are ridiculous questions. (Grunt) Probably a big baked good with a nail file in it so I could escape.
3. Give me three adjectives to describe your self.
Tall, musical, & deep thinking.
4. If you could settle down anywhere in the world bringing your family and career with you, where would you locate?
Probably San Luis Obispo.
5. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you by just looking at you?
Umm, I am the president of the psychology honor society.

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Probably when people are really manipulative and selfish.
7. Say that you believe in reincarnation, what would you want to be in your next life?
I would be born in the late 40s so I could grow up in the 60s and 70s.
8. If you could look into your future, what would you hope to see?
Myself successful with an incredible partner and with wonderful, creative, driven children. (Discussion on why saying partner is preferred over wife; Sam attaches negative connotation with wife and when he thinks of wife he thinks of housewife)Emphasis on no house wife that I want someone who is equally successful.
9. What is the hardest you have ever had to work at something?
Probably deciding to move up to my Dad’s house from my Mom’s.
10. What is your favorite date we have ever gone on?
When we went to Disneyland.

11. If you could have total, natural talent in one thing, what would it be?
Either more musical ability or an incredible surfing talent.
12. What is your favorite part about everyday?
Thinking about the future’s potential.
13. What are you sad to give up about your youth?
The abundance of free time.
14. What are you glad to give up about youth?
The lack of control over my own life and the decisions I get to make.
15. What would you say is your biggest indulgence?
The occasional video games.

16. What do you miss most about me when we aren’t together?
Talking to you about ourselves and kissing you and pulling you into my arms.
17. Describe what you love most about your school, University of California, Santa Cruz.
How relaxed and laid back it is.
18. Name something that you have done that you are really proud of recently.
Winning 10 games of beer pong in the same night.
19. What is something that always makes you smile?
Looking at the ocean on a clear day.
20. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up?
No.
21. Describe your perfect day
Sailing to an exotic island and then hiking and then having a wonderful bonfire on the beach with tasty drinks, playing music and beach moonlight, and then you know what comes next. ( :

21 Questions for 21 people I love

2008-06-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while but I am ready to get back into the blogger mode! On Father's Day I thought it would be fun to give my Daddy an interview asking him questions that would reveal things about him that I just didn't know. Not all of them are soul bearing or especially deep but it was fun to get to him that much better. Because I enjoyed that interview so much I thought I would give a lot more of them (20 more to be exact) and get to know the special people in my life that much better. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed giving them.

Nuts for Pea-Nuts!

2008-06-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

My blog will finally be living up to its name with my first food entry! My first food to conquer: Peanut Butter!

A couple days ago, during a very relaxing bubble bath, a question popped into my head; I love cooking, i have so much free time now that it is summer, i know that so much packaged foods filled with preservatives are so bad for you, so why not make most of my food homemade? Now, I am not going to the extreme with this idea, but the food items that are in my cooking reach I will try to make myself.

First order up for business- Peanut Butter! It has always sorta weirded me out that peanut butter seems to last forever in your pantry. Doesn't that seem a bit unnatural? I was watching the food network the other day and saw Alton Brown make some of his own peanut butter so I thought I would give his recipe a try. I read it over again on the food network website but decided to make some changes of my own (here is the original recipe) I wanted mine a bit sweeter so i added some extra honey and I thought it turned out really yummy.

Now let me take you on my nutty journey...

Homemade Peanut Butter

Ingredients

~1lb (16 ounces) Planters Unsalted Dry Roasted Peanuts
~1 teaspoon salt
~1 3/4 teaspoons honey
~1 1/2 tablespoons peanut oil

Step One-
Put the peanuts, salt, and honey in a bowl of the mixer.

Step Two-
Process for one minute. Then scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Step Three-
Put back on the lid and slowly drizzle in the peanut oil while mixing for one and a half to two minutes. (This is also where I added about another tablespoon of honey to make it more sweet but whether or not you like it salty or sweet you could add more or less) Store in an air tight container (I just used the container that held the peanuts) and it should last about two months in the fridge.

Enjoy!

Lonely House: Missing my Roomies

2008-05-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

So I am back in San Francisco after spending a week with the parentals and the boyfriend. A nice trip of course but nothing feels as great as being home in the city. I returned to our big, beautiful house in Laurel Heights and found everything the same as I had left it, but two things missing: Jackie and Amber.

Jackie has been my roommate since the days of Gilson 319, oh how long ago that seems, and has now become my housemate. We live well together, I help her find her lost keys and she helps me stay healthy with her abundance of weight watcher recipes. She brings such a positive energy into the house that fills it with warmth. Her spunk and her always smiling face is sure missed.

We met Amber on facebook during our search for another person to live with, and boy did we get lucky! She is probably one of the coolest and sweetest people I have met in my first year at USF. She is such a goof ball and is always making me laugh. And man does this girl have style! She can get a five dollar dress at Ross and pull it together to look like it comes from a pricey boutique on Fillmore. Even her bowls and cups for the kitchen are the cutest I have ever seen. She is the type of person who would do anything for a friend and is always someone that you can go out and have a great time with.

Nothing beats listening to Amber and Jackie analyze their relationships based on horoscope matches and decide which sign is the bad one. I love these girls so much and having the house so empty really makes me realize and appreciate all that their two great personalities bring! Miss you guys and can't wait for next year to start, it's going to be a great one ( ;

To a BEAUtiful Night!

2008-04-10T23:39:00.000-07:00

I just want to recognize the great night I had tonight with one of my good friends Ms. Meredith Kelly(who has recently decided to join the blogging craze! WOo!). We both share a love of different world cultures and for this amazing city that we are currently living in and tonight we got to enjoy a great taste of both!

Our night started with a free movie in the park! The Mission Dolores park was showing "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". The weather was great and there were so many people there! It was a really great event getting the community together for some FREE and FUN festivities! Of course, most people were just visiting with their friends and it was hard to hear the movie but still a good time nonetheless.

After our viewing of the movie we both realized we had a sudden craving for chips and salsa (must have been all those Taquerias we passed on the 33) so we decided to embark on a journey to find a late night open Taqueria. Lucky for us we were close to the Mission and only had to walk about 3 blocks to find a very tasty one. We enjoyed ourselves a refreshing Dos Equis and some tasty Mexican food.

Oh the ways San Francisco fulfills me ( :

Joy to the World

2008-04-08T20:26:00.001-07:00

"Be true to yourself first Becca, everything else will fall into place."

My Aunt Earlene(sister to my grandma) is like no other person I have ever met in my entire life. She has more spunk in her personality than any other 75 year old I know. Her favorite songs include "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night and "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger; both feel good songs that make her feel inclined to get up and dance. She lives with and basically takes care of my grandma, who is deteriorating both mentally and physically more every time I see her. This living situation utterly depresses my Aunt because my Grandma has no desire to ever come out of her room and conversing is not her idea of fun. Because many of Aunt Earlene's friends have passed away and only 2 of her 4 kids choose to talk to her(reasons unknown), she looks for some human communication through her letters with me. I'd say she has average between 2 to 3 letters a week since I have left for college(Jackie can vouch for this since she primarily picks up our mail). Although I do not write her back as much as I would like, her letters constantly remind me of how much I am loved and that someone out there is thinking about me. Besides the large amount of affection packed into each one, my Auntie often includes valuable pieces of advice that give me new perspectives on life and have actually helped me get through some rough times. My aunties has had one of those hard and screwed up lives like you see on Oprah and her viewpoints on life and all of its functionings mean so much to me. All of her letters come in cute little cards, usually with cartoon animals on it, and all end with "Hi to Jackie." I have included some of her wise words and some cute quotes that make up the Auntie that I love.

"Well here it is Friday night and no date again. Now that is just sad. Wish you were here. I'd call you and have you take me out for dinner and we could gossip, tell jokes, eat and laugh and laugh."

"Always remember, live your dreams, set YOUR goals and stand by them, be happy and always take time to laugh. Its the best medicine and has always helped me. Believe in yourself because you deserve the best of all things."

"Will say sorry about you and *@# but then again you got a lot of living ahead of you and lots of plans so first focus on what Becca needs to do & do it girl! There will be another someone in your life in your future. Maybe lots of them (haha)!"

"Sometimes I get really depressed and the old poor me crap starts to work on me and I have to clear my mind and let God remind me of all the reasons I am so rich."

"I enjoyed having Luke(my dog) here. I talked to him all the time and I think he understood me."

"Becca Boo! Still here, still breathing, and baking brownies!"

"By the way, will we get to see Sam during the holiday? I could use a Xmas hug from a tall, dark, and handsome young man. Old ladies say the darn funniest things."

Hitching a Ride: Inspiration for Robin and her Good Deeds

2008-04-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

Ms. Robin, my darling roommate's older sister, has made a great challenge for herself for the month of April; to do one good deed each day. This is such a wonderful idea and such a great way to think outside of yourself. Wouldn't it be great if there were more Robins in this world to help create a little more goodness in this life?

Anyways, I was looking through my pictures from Mexico and came across these and thought that this nice deed from complete strangers deserved some blogging recognition. I also thought I could help provide some inspiration and ideas from my own life that have sure made my day!

My family and I were on a quest to go Tequila tasting (hey, it's Mexico!) and thought we would use Mexico's public transportation to get there. Well, of course being the lame tourists we are, we took one bus that only ended up taking us about half way to our desired location. So my parents went into a restaurant asking the owners for some "guidance". My parents came out and said to just start walking up the road. About 5 minutes into our walk, a black truck pulled off to the side of the road and offered us a ride. They were people who had been eating at that restaurant and heard my parent's clear disorientation. So we all pilled on in the back of the truck and watched the road disappear behind us. It turned out we would of had about a mile and a half walk up a curvy and ascending road with no sidewalks (and Lord knows my family sure aren't the most athletic!). The turned out to be some college guys who were visiting from Texas and must have recognized us as lost souls. It was about a 10 minute drive that probably would have taken us about an hour or so to walk. My parents ended up giving them some money even though they didn't ask for it to thank them for their generosity of sharing their wheels with us. Who knows if they had hoped to get a reward out of it or if they were just trying to lend a hand, all I know is that it made me feel great and have some hope for this often cold world.

Thanks to those Texans and to all the people out there like Robin! You guys keep the world spinning.

Little Bugger Just Blew Me Away...

2008-04-02T21:13:00.001-07:00

As an older sister with an often pesky little brother, it can be hard to take a step back and see the great kid standing in front of me. However, this weekend I went home to see him get ready for a Junior Prom that he was invited too (he is only a sophomore). I must say, I was just blown away by how absolutely handsome he looked. Usually Blake is just my gangly, stinky, little snot ridden brother but for the for the first time I saw him as the good looking man he is turning into. I am so proud of the person he is becoming and can see all the great things he is going to do in his future. I love you so much little brother.

Los Dos Lados

2008-03-24T18:41:00.001-07:00

The two sets of pictures here show the drastic differences that make up the majority of Mexico. There is the dying land that previously supported Mexico's agricultural industry while the other pictures display the ever increasing industry of tourism. Puerto Vallarta, so full of vacationing Americans and rich Mexicans, is a city that greatly covers both the history and struggles of the Mexican people. It is easy for outsiders to come in, soak up the cheap prices and constant service and convince themself that there are no problems here.

Even as an American tourist, there is a sense of belonging that I feel when I am in the little pueblos that make up Mexico. As struggling and poverty ridden as they may seem, the feeling of happiness and contentness is hard to miss. Their lack of modernity and wealth is looked down upon by the majority of this constantly developing world but for some reason it is where I find peace.

These two differnet worlds that exist within Mexico and the world as a whole leave me wondering, in which one do I belong?

Feeling Good

2008-03-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel

Its a new dawn
Its a new day
Its a new life
For me
And Im feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree you know how I feel

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, dont you know
Butterflies all havin fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
Thats what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

(Totally my new favorite song, either version by Nina Simone or Michael Bublé. Not only is the melody absolutely amazing but I love the lyrics and the way the song makes me feel in my entirety. This song perfectly captures all the positive emotions of emerging from a dark place and finding yourself all over again. This song is just simply beautiful and uplifting so go listen to it if you haven't heard it all ready ( : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3BH9hKNPoI

Yin Yang: Unity of the Opposites

2008-03-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

Now that I find myself transitioning from an older girl to a young woman, I find myself seeking more and more wisdom from my elders and trying to leave the behind the beliefs of adolescence. But this Friday, while on a field trip with a 3rd grade class to Golden Gate Park, I was reminded of the beauty that is contained in the simple knowledge children hold. The more I feel like I am being pulled from the ignorant state of childhood, the more overwhelmed and saddened I begin to feel about the world I live in and the fading hope I have in it. In college, or at least at USF, they seem to focus on pointing everything wrong with the world, I guess in hopes that we will go out there and fix it, but it really makes you begin to forget about all the beauty and love that really do exist in the world. That is what I want to thank a little Chinese-German boy for reminded me of when I was saddened by a dead baby turtle we passed by. He said in a very matter of fact and philosophical manner,

"Its ok. Don't you know what Yin and Yang is? There can't be birth without death, there can't be light without dark, there can't be man without woman, good without evil, or heaven without hell. Everything in nature has its opposite and that is what creates balance in the world."

I was more than taken back by the unexpected wisdom that I had just heard from an 8 year old boy. I think all adults can actually learn a lot from children and their simple ideas about the way the world works. At times I find myself creating too much complexity in my own life, when I'm not sure things really need to be so sticky. I want to aspire to actually regain some of my simple cognition that I saw in those students that day. I want to be able to step away from myself one day and think, do things really have to be this difficult? I think I might surprise myself.

Falling out of Love and back into your Life

2008-03-04T22:41:00.000-08:00

With prayers answered and strength gained, I finally feel myself moving on past a love that had kept me restrained so tightly for the past three years. I wish I could say that the relationship had continued for the entire three years, but it seems that almost half of that time was spent trying to move on from a relationship I couldn't let go of. Even with my encounters with other men and the obvious need to forget about it, something kept me holding on. I fully understand now that time is the ultimate healer and through times of hardship is when you learn the most about yourself and discover your inner strength.

Everyday I feel myself growing stronger and moving on, and though this is what I longed for so badly in all my states of loneliness and longing, I actually find myself missing that vulnerable position. A part of me can't help try and resist letting go
of something that always felt so comfortable and right. But when I look inside my heart and more importantly when I look at you, I see there is no reason to hold on anymore. Despite the care and respect and thankfulness I will always feel for you, I'm ready let this become the platonic relationship that I would have with any other friend. I'm going to let that emptiness we both feel when we talk settle in on my mind and body and finally say something to you that I may have said in the past but can only now truly mean: goodbye my lover, hello my friend.

"The world still turns and the sun still burns
And that's what I've learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don't think I didn't love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you"

Puppy Love

2008-02-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

As I was sitting in the 5th grade class I volunteer in, I couldn't help from remembering my own elementary school experience. From there I started thinking about my first "boyfriend", Jon, in 6th grade. I hadn't thought about it in so long and actually have sadly since forgotten many of the details of our relationship, but there are some giggly memories that I will always have to look back on.

I remember our first "date" to the movie theaters... with my Mom and little brother sitting behind us the entire time. And Jon and I getting all the satisfaction in the world from simply rubbing our little pinky fingers together (if only men could be so satisfied by that still : P ).

I remember our first Valentines day together and the gifts we exchanged. I was going crazy trying to think of the perfect gift for Jon and sadly ended up taking the advice of my mother; to give my 6th grade boyfriend who I'd maybe been dating for a month a framed school portrait of my pre-pubescent self. That way he could look at my big smile full of braces and little freckly face whenever he wanted. Haha, it sounds pretty conceited thinking back on it. In return he gave me a simple teddy bear that had "Love You" written on the paws. I still have it somewhere in my closet. Sometimes I still wonder what he's done with that picture. Did he have the heart to throw it out or is it stuck in some random drawer that maybe one day he will come across when searching for a highlighter?

Ahh, and I of course remember that sad, sad break up. It was of course for good reason though. I mean he didn't hold my hand one day when we were walking to lunch, and women these days just don't put up with that nonsense. So under my friend's advice and help, we made him a very melodic song explaining to him why this relationship would have to end. I remember it consisted of my friends singing a couple lines of, "Oh Jonathan, Oh Jonathan, You should have done ____ and ____" and then at the very end, for dramatic effect, I came in and told him that he was a great basketball player but I just didn't think he was boyfriend material (a line memorized from Bring It On). Poor guy, must have been traumatized by the whole event and actually ended up crying a lot. Even in high school he was known to cry a lot with his girlfriends. Hope that didn't have anything to do with me. ( :

Oh, the beauty of young love. <3 <3

Home Sweet Home

2008-02-25T17:28:00.001-08:00

This weekend I discovered my ideal place to settle down with a family. I can't even describe my excitement because I wasn't even sure if my ideal town existed. It is called Occidental and is in the Sonoma county. It is an adorable, little town filled with small farms embedded into the forest with only about 1,000 residents. It is big enough to have a school, a couple gourmet bistros, an inn, a relaxation spa, a movie rental store, and other various establishments but small enough to not have cell phone service(there are land lines though, no worries). As my bus was driving into the town I was falling more and more in love. I know I could wake up every morning in this place and walk outside and have my breath taken away by nature's beauty. It is so perfect considering that it is inland but still not very far from the Ocean and is still in California, where all my family lives. Also it isn't very far from bigger cities and I hopefully would find a job that would be close enough that I could commute to. I've included some pictures that I got off the internet but they don't even sum up the perfection of this town. Even if I don't end up in this specific town, it is so reassuring to know that a place so perfect for me exists.

Check out this awesome website that describes my perfect place ( :
http://www.occidental.org/

Why I Love San Francisco...

2008-02-22T14:08:00.001-08:00

There is always something going on. Some crazy, psychedelic concert or some cultural parade or a really random festival going on somewhere in the city. And then there are of course the traditional events of San Francisco, including the annual Pillow Fight in the square across from the Ferry Building every Valentines Day(see pictures) and the group of cyclists who get together and clog the streets with their huge masses of bikes. And the annual Chocolate Festival in Ghiradelli Square was even a really fun time for me, someone who does not particularly enjoy chocolate. There is always so much going on in this beautiful city that at times it may even be overwhelming, but i wouldn't have it any other way. Even if none of the events sound appealing for that specific weekend, there is so much exploring to be done and experiencing all of the different components of San Francisco that make it such a diverse city. If you want to check out some of the awesome, ever changing events going on in San Francisco check out this website http://sanfrancisco.going.com/ Every thursday they send the best email telling me a variety of cultural, musical, artsy, or just fun happenings going on in the city for the following weekend. Oh the internet can be such a beautiful thing ( :

A Tribute to Little One

2008-02-19T21:07:00.000-08:00

I just have to give a big shout out to the bamf who sleeps in the bed under me. This 5'3 chick was about one or two words away from fighting a huge probably 6 foot 250 pound Samoan girl. Despite the obvious difference in size, my little roomie didn't even think twice about telling this bitch to stop elbowing her. And when she turned around and asked her if Jackie wanted to fight, what did my roomie do? Threaten to go crazy on her with her Pepper-spray. Makes me proud to call her my roommate! People do not be fooled by the angelic face, Blake can vouch for her feistiness and I will admit she keeps me in line with her constant threats of pulling out the brass knuckles under her bed. But all in all, you can't help but love her!!

My Latest Obsession

2008-02-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

Craigslist. It has got to be the most awesome website ever created. There has never been a website that has connected the community in as many ways as Craigslist does. While it can be used for perverted purposes, as seen on the news with recent issues, the benefits reaped from Craigslist more than overshadow the downfalls that can be attributed to any internet site. I am fairly positive that I will find my house that I will live in listed on Cragslist and from the free section (yes, a page where people are urging to give away FREE stuff) I will find almost all the furniture that my house will need at no cost to me except for the transportation. Last week I found tickets for a sold out concert that I was itching to see at a reasonable price. Because of Craigslist my family and I were able to get together and go see a concert and have a great time together. In addition to putting up items for sale and listing real estate all around the city, there is a section for job postings, community events, volunteer opportunities, discussion boards, personals (for ANY kind of relationship you may be seeking), and even an area for people to post lost and found items. There isn't much more you could ask for in a site to help get the community connected. So if there is a Craigslist for your area, and if there isn't you can get one started, I highly recommend checking out what it can offer you.

Here is the link for the San Francisco Craigslist:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/