Los Dos Lados

The two sets of pictures here show the drastic differences that make up the majority of Mexico. There is the dying land that previously supported Mexico's agricultural industry while the other pictures display the ever increasing industry of tourism. Puerto Vallarta, so full of vacationing Americans and rich Mexicans, is a city that greatly covers both the history and struggles of the Mexican people. It is easy for outsiders to come in, soak up the cheap prices and constant service and convince themself that there are no problems here.

Even as an American tourist, there is a sense of belonging that I feel when I am in the little pueblos that make up Mexico. As struggling and poverty ridden as they may seem, the feeling of happiness and contentness is hard to miss. Their lack of modernity and wealth is looked down upon by the majority of this constantly developing world but for some reason it is where I find peace.

These two differnet worlds that exist within Mexico and the world as a whole leave me wondering, in which one do I belong?

Feeling Good

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel

Its a new dawn
Its a new day
Its a new life
For me
And Im feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree you know how I feel

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, dont you know
Butterflies all havin fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
Thats what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel


(Totally my new favorite song, either version by Nina Simone or Michael Bublé. Not only is the melody absolutely amazing but I love the lyrics and the way the song makes me feel in my entirety. This song perfectly captures all the positive emotions of emerging from a dark place and finding yourself all over again. This song is just simply beautiful and uplifting so go listen to it if you haven't heard it all ready ( : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3BH9hKNPoI

Yin Yang: Unity of the Opposites

Now that I find myself transitioning from an older girl to a young woman, I find myself seeking more and more wisdom from my elders and trying to leave the behind the beliefs of adolescence. But this Friday, while on a field trip with a 3rd grade class to Golden Gate Park, I was reminded of the beauty that is contained in the simple knowledge children hold. The more I feel like I am being pulled from the ignorant state of childhood, the more overwhelmed and saddened I begin to feel about the world I live in and the fading hope I have in it. In college, or at least at USF, they seem to focus on pointing everything wrong with the world, I guess in hopes that we will go out there and fix it, but it really makes you begin to forget about all the beauty and love that really do exist in the world. That is what I want to thank a little Chinese-German boy for reminded me of when I was saddened by a dead baby turtle we passed by. He said in a very matter of fact and philosophical manner,

"Its ok. Don't you know what Yin and Yang is? There can't be birth without death, there can't be light without dark, there can't be man without woman, good without evil, or heaven without hell. Everything in nature has its opposite and that is what creates balance in the world."

I was more than taken back by the unexpected wisdom that I had just heard from an 8 year old boy. I think all adults can actually learn a lot from children and their simple ideas about the way the world works. At times I find myself creating too much complexity in my own life, when I'm not sure things really need to be so sticky. I want to aspire to actually regain some of my simple cognition that I saw in those students that day. I want to be able to step away from myself one day and think, do things really have to be this difficult? I think I might surprise myself.

Falling out of Love and back into your Life

With prayers answered and strength gained, I finally feel myself moving on past a love that had kept me restrained so tightly for the past three years. I wish I could say that the relationship had continued for the entire three years, but it seems that almost half of that time was spent trying to move on from a relationship I couldn't let go of. Even with my encounters with other men and the obvious need to forget about it, something kept me holding on. I fully understand now that time is the ultimate healer and through times of hardship is when you learn the most about yourself and discover your inner strength.

Everyday I feel myself growing stronger and moving on, and though this is what I longed for so badly in all my states of loneliness and longing, I actually find myself missing that vulnerable position. A part of me can't help try and resist letting go
of something that always felt so comfortable and right. But when I look inside my heart and more importantly when I look at you, I see there is no reason to hold on anymore. Despite the care and respect and thankfulness I will always feel for you, I'm ready let this become the platonic relationship that I would have with any other friend. I'm going to let that emptiness we both feel when we talk settle in on my mind and body and finally say something to you that I may have said in the past but can only now truly mean: goodbye my lover, hello my friend.




"The world still turns and the sun still burns
And that's what I've learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don't think I didn't love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you"